Lemme rant: My new flatmate

New category on the blog: "Rant".

Look, I am by no means a meticulous person. I am a messy creature myself and I don't mind a lil' bit of messiness. BUT, this only applies to youself, and yourself only, literally! When you are sharing living areas with someone else, especially with a stranger, you're not frekking at home anymore! Show some effing respect and consideration by cleaning your own damn shit up, because guess what?! -You're living with other people and they might need that damn area you just used! Let me tell you the exquisite story about my very beloved flatmate.

Now this bitch that I have to endure agony of is attending some weird-ass off-programme in high school. No, I ain't gonn' judge, but this time I have to. First time I saw her face I immediately knew she was a bitch. That mascara build-up and those ugly-ass brows on her face. Yepp, a grown upp fjortis. Still, I was not condemnatory towards her. I'll respect her, as I do with all strangers. You are given respect at first, then it's up to you to either lose it, keep it or increase it. 

Not even a week passed until she showed her disgusting, undiciplined, reckless habits:

Habit #1: Bitch is leaving shit stains in the toilet: My first thought when I saw those dark shit stains in the toilet was "*piiiiip*. Ok, keep calm. Maybe she doesn't double check, she'll remove the shit next time she's enjoying these glamorous moments with the toilet." Guess what? Ohohoho... Oh, how I was incorrect. At least my mum told me to double check after my visit to the WC, and to clear the shower outta hairs after using it, I didn't need to hear that because I knew this was obvious. Obviously, this son of a bitch doesn't have any type of dicipline or submissiveness from/to her parents. Look, she was disabled for the moment, an injury, broke her leg. She was physically on crutches. I thought that mayyyybeeee..... Just mayybbeee..... She was unable to reach that brush and scrub that bowl of shit. This happened after the second time she visited the WC. And so... The angel that I am, I took the brush and frekking cleaned that shit off! DAYMN OOOOUUU DAYMN! That was the most obnoxious moment of my life. I feel for those who have this as a job. But yeah! I did it! Because I had the mum-instinct, to have stuff clean around here. Nononono, it's not a mum-instinct, it's the effing norm-instinct. You're not supposed to show, visually, what you ate the other day. I HOPED that not the same thing would happen again. Pffftttttttttt. It happened again. Okay, I raged. I left the shit sitting there, and it was gone a couple of days later. But a mothereffing couple of days is waaaayyy too much! We're not using the WC once a day! But twice, thrice, phrice times! I'm not your effing mum to clean up your damn ass! And again... Today, there's more shit. And the bitch is gone for the weekend, and I have to see this... Oh god. You know what I'm sayin'. 

Habit #2: That trash bag: We have these special paper bags that only combustible waste jumps into. So I'd say... The leftovers goes into this little bag. APPARENTLY this bitch doesn't know how to effing read and is not considerate about others and the environment at effing all! There's instructions on how these are used. She treats these bags like a normal trash can! I said "little bag", we're talking about the size of an effing american lunch bag: 

Who the eff puts their effing moldy, huge pack, of bread in there?! I can understand, bread can go in there, but what I'm pissed off about is that it clearly says "NO EFFING PLASTIC". Can you burn plastic and turn that shit into fuel?! NO!!! EFFING NO! No effing wonders she's fucked up (yepp, I'm gonna curse as much as I can now. Tired of holding back with "effing"), totally fucked up in the head! Of course you're not producing smart people if you're in a programme about some stupid gymnastics and shit. But puh-leeze!!! Do those fucking paper bags look like a normal trash can?! Are you that fucking lazy to turn around 180 and find a fucking trash can right behind you!!??! Are you so damn stupid?! Like I can't even imagine what IQ you might have! Is it fucking 2?! Apparently you can't even distinguish between a lunch-sized bag and a normal trash bag!!! I did clear her shit off the first time, to show her that it's not supposed to.. be in there. Her bread pack. The bag is overfilled now. It's not allowed to reach over 50% of the bag and it's supposed to be exchanged, maximum, every three days. I don't know how long this bag's been lying there. If she really wanna put her packs in there, I'd gladly shovel the shit down her throat and leave some extra crumbles in her school bag. Now nobody will go hungry. 

Habit #3: The dishes: Now I ain't no mothereffing maid, I'm not paid to do this shit. I'm an effing student. And I take care of my own shit. MY OWN shit. I follow all the rules that are up for what applies in the kitchen, which is "clean the fuck up after all your meals". I know for some people it's quite difficult and they'd procrastinate this duty. I totally understand. If you're gonna pursue this life path then I have a nice solution for you: Keep your shit to youself!!!! Leave it outta other people's sight! Nononono. That's not an option here. Look. We have cookwares that everyone shares. Ever had the thought "Oh, maybe my flatmate will need this when they cook"? Not this IQ-free bitch. You're not motherfucking at home anymore! Moving out and especially sharing areas with other people is a damn responsibility! It's not even a difficult task to just clean your shit up! I was the messiest shit at home, but as soon as I moved out to live alone, I just transformed 180, and took care of all my shit. Not a single soul is living in agony because of my shit. But this bitch of a flatmate left a bunch of dishes in the sink for days. DAYS. I had to do my own dishes while her shit took my space. And now there's two mugs that her other fjortis-bitch friend also used, are in the sink. No. I moved the mugs (which also have two spoons in them) to the kitchen table right beside the bitch's door. I ain't gonn' touch that shit no more. Worse thing. This bitch isn't at home on the weekends. It's friday today. Guess what's up. Yep, shit stains and mugs are left over for the weekend. 

My mug: Ok. So I wrote a long ass paragraph about what happened to my beloved mug. I got so pissed that I've decided to leave this part empty.

No look. Look... I thought about coming up to her respectfully and calmly tell her about the concerns. But after this rage I realize the hoe does not deserve any type of respect from me.