STRESS TO THE MAX

I'm so stressed right now. I have SOOO many things to deal with.

This is my time span: approx 2,5 hrs.

1. I've dealt with a b*tch ass thing about the hot air balloon thing. I don't wanna have more problems with that, so I'm wishing the company will go with my request.

2. I gotta sleep at 12 AM. Meaning I have very little time to deal with all my shit.

3. I need to do some cleaning in my room... And possibly my kitchen. But none of this will happen, because I have to time.

Why am I wasting time writing on the blog instead of doing things?

4. I. HAVE. TO. PACK! Not just a lil' packing for a trip to Stockholm. NO! I gotta pack for my whole trip to Amsterdam! I'm leaving on Sunday! I haven't done shit!

5. ....I haven't studied shit. Kill me. Seriously.

6. Tomorrow will be my last day at work. Sad. *Sob sob*.

I have 2,5 h to deal with most of these things. And I will, as usual, get ca. 5hrs of sleep.

I wish I could take a shower, but I'm not able to.

Heh, gotta pay my rent too. Screw this adult life.

Better go numb and get shit done

Cold hearted bitch

The people that are the coldest are the ones that once cared too much. You get hurt too much and heal. And then the same spot ripps up and then heals again, and so it goes, over and over again. At one point it'll become too hard to rip itself up open again. That's the point when you take no more bullshit and you become this cold, hard bitch. You can't take it anymore more, and as natural as it gets, you just don't allow yourself to get hurt again. You stop giving any fucks. 

I've been on too many adventures in such a short time. I've been on too many boats and most of them have sunken and I've just been swimming, by myself, back to the shore. But you know what? Right now I am on a boat, a new adventure. But there is a fire on this boat and I will need to evacuate this shit soon before I die. I will have to jump soon, but I'll try to fight the fire, but if too much damage is done, I'll have to jump. I'm trying my best but I don't think there's any hope to survive on it. 

Worse part: I am in the middle of nowhere and I see no shore in sight. I will be a lost soul, and do I care enough about myself to try to swim to that shore? Or will I decide to keep being lost out in the sea, struggle to stay above the surface of the water, or will I give up and sink to the bottom and stay there for a while? I am lost, and will be until I'll reach that point where I find the light.

Okok, hi, I'm back

Eheee, hi, it's been a while. Like two weeks I guess? A LOT, as usual, has happened. I don't even have any order in my head anymore. I've lost t he order of events so I'm just gonna spit it out, whatever I remember.

Since the last post... Hmm, I've met someone that could fit as a soul mate, because we pretty much have everything in common. I'm very interested in M but it's difficult to keep the flame alive as you have the distance. Anyway, I really like this person.

I went to Stockholm! Two weeks ago. I was going because I had a hot air balloon flight booked. But I suspected a cancellation, because Saturday (12th) was going to rain. It turned out to be sunny but it was really windy, or enough not to fly. So yepp, as suspected, it was cancelled... Next time has to be after my Amsterdam trip!

Otherwise I hung out with Sauman, we shopped and walked around the city. Djurgården, Slussen, etc. I also met Rah-he for the first time. He's a chill dude, I like him. I also partied, at Sommar! That was a special night... Sommar! is way better now than what it was like 2 years back, when I first visited it. There I met Bahare and Melin again after a long time. And other people from Frunken.

Fast forward. It's Monday right now, last weekend Malin came and visited me here in le city. I showed her around and we had a really good cozy, quality time. Didn't party, but drank a bit, ate nice food. Shopped and stuff. And visited Stadsparken! And went to the cinema to watch Planet of the Apes. Damn, good movie.

 Shaved alpacas!! :(

I have only this week left at work.. I mean, next week will be my last week at work, after that I'll be gone. Done. For this year. It's been hell of an experience! I will totally miss my work place. I've learned so much. I am now a pro at stabbing people on their fingers.

People fight and break up with their guys... S and I are real single ladies.

Update

I'm soooo bad at updating! So many things have happened!!!

I went to Stockholm like 2-3 wks ago, hung out with Lucas for the first time in years. The week after that I went to Stockholm again. This time I managed to meet with Aramia and Josefine. It was nice to meet Sauman again after a long time. In the evening it was cinema time.

This week I've been meeting up with new buds. N and H. Been drinking 4 days in a row now. I mean, getting drunk 4 days in a row.

First off I met H on Wednesday and we took a walk, never seen that part of the city before. Then we went home and had a drink. The next day I met N and more drinking happened. On the Friday it was H again and we totally passed out because of the alcohol. So I slept over and arrived home at like 10:45. I've never slept so little in such time, these drinking days. And so today I couldn't go all out, I was drinking but didn't go cray with it. And again I dozed off and so I had to leave "early", passed eleven. That's why I'm here, writing this. Because I'm dead tired.

My job is doing great. I basically know a lot now. I'm going out taking test on my own. It's still challenging at times, especially with kids. I had a case with one newborn baby, or it was approx. a wk old. Soo tiny. But I'm working very independently now. I've also gotten to know Steph a lot better, on a deeper lvl that before, wich is nice. She cray, and I see a lot of her in me too, similar thinking in a way...

I've realized today that I don't wanna settle for a bachelor's. I want a masters and I've discovered toxicology, that might be my thang ya kno'. The salary is nice and it's very interesting. But we'll see after I'm done with my bachelor's, maybe I'll find something more appealing.