Tuesday, April 14, 2015

How Did I Get Here?

This has been on my mind the last few days. I got this question which made me question my whole identity.

During the job interview I was asked "How did you find this interest, does any of your friends or family members work with this?". My interviewer asked this when we talked about my passion for natural science and biomedicine. Because, you know, a lot of people become inspired by people they know. "Oh, I have an aunt working at a lab. My uncle is a doctor", etc. My interviewer asked if I wanted to become a doctor, not sure why she asked that but I'll take that on a positive note. Anyway...

That question on how I found the interest for natural science is something I've never thought myself. No one in my surrounding, not any relative, no old class mate, friend or anyone or anything made me have this interest. I was interested in natural science since elementary. I knew I was going to pursue science and even in high school that was obvious. I studied natural science with specialization in biomedicine and then it was just natural to continue at university with that. No one influenced me.

And no one influenced me with anything else in life. My emo period was influenced by no one. My interest, love and passion for Slipknot and metal in general was influenced by no one. My creative side was born with me: playing instruments and doing art.

Are these genes? Doesn't seem like it was inherited by anyone because no one seem to be like me. Being emo, creative, weird...

Who am I? And why did I make the choices I did? 

I'm certain I'm not alone thinking like this. There's plenty of people out there whose family and friends seem normal but you're not. Must've been some kind of mutation with you, right? No, I'm serious. I come from an Asian background. Where the hell went wrong with me, haha? I'm the weirdo in the family. I'm the rebel, I'm the different one. My bros seem very normal compared to me. Or maybe they feel unusual too, but it doesn't show.

But I really wonder where the creativity of mine came from. We don't have any artists in our family. My little brother have some creative tendencies though and my older brother is this smart ass, studying computer engineering of some sort.

There's been studies that the oldest sibling has these tendencies and the younger one being the more carefree and creative. But what about me? I was the youngest child for three years until my little brother arrived. I'm in between. I surely feel like I have tendencies of both being creative, ambitious in a professional field + taking responsibilities. I study natural science and do art. Wtf man. Wtf. I'm also diplomatic and often see both sides of... Everything. Hell, I can even see the blue/black and white/gold side of the dress, I can easily switch between the two.

I'm also born between two Zodiac signs. Does that have anything to do with my double sided personality? Being the beautiful, artistic, grounded Taurus and on the other hand being this restless, impatient, all or nothing, carefree, bold Aries. In numerology I'm number 2. I mean, come on!!! Do I have to be the number two in everything?!!

I'm also between an introvert and extrovert, an ambivert? Nah, I think a better description is "outgoing introvert". Here's some facts that I really relate to:
1. http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/10-things-you-need-to-know-before-dating-the-outgoing-introvert
2. http://www.puckermob.com/lifestyle/8-signs-you-may-be-an-outgoing-introvert

Numerology: 2
Zodiac: Between two signs. Being half Taurus, which is the 2nd sign.
Family: Being the second (middle) child.
Personality: Between intro- and extrovert!

I don't know man. Idk. This coffee is frying my brain and I feel the after effects kicking in. I'm getting damn tired.

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