Day 03 - Your belief/religion

I used to be an atheist, I also used to believe. Today I am in between. 

I used to think that you, as an individual have all the power to choose your actions, where to go and what to do. You are respoinsible for you own choices and actions. Ther is no force to pull you in any direction, everything is up to you.

Myabe I was influenced by my friends, yeah, I guess I was to some extent. I saw a miracle happen to a friend and I asked her how it had happened, and she told me because she had prayed. I was immediately hooked. Kind of a naive move, I know, but I needed some help, and what better way than to try out the religious way. I was never a very religious person when I believed. I was christian, but I never attended church, read the Holy Bible or whatever jazz revolving that topic. I simply believed in a God, and that God happened to be Jesus. I prayed, that's all I did, every night.

But as time passed, I realized that God never answered my prayers. When I had severe difficulties in life, all he did was.                                    <-- That.

Nothing. 

It's very subjective, though. Maybe I didn't see what he wanted to show me? Either way, I got more shit into my life and I kept on cursing God, hating him for pouring me all this shit over me. It's simple from now on, I just stopped believing him. He doesn't exist to me. If he had heard my prayers, I wouldn't be in that shit pit that I was. I actually got better as soon as I stopped believing him. But then...

I ended up in between. Today I believe there's a force, non-human form, this is not a religion, just a question of belief, equal to the question if you believe in aliens. I'd say... It's karma and destiny.

Yeah, I believe in karma and destiny. If something is meant to happen, it will. If you're a bitch, karma will be a bitch to you an hit you back just as hard as you hit, or even harder. I've seen too much of this stuff in the past two years and I can see a connection to everything. Or just like any belief, it's there to calm you down. To make you believe that you're not alone, that all your actions aren't just stupid actions that only you are responsible for. Right? Get what I mean? It's a way for us believers to think that we sometimes deserve some things, that maybe, in the future, there will be a brighter future if we just wait for it. Karma will fix it, of your'e good to karma, karma will be good to you. Destiny will guide you to become the one you were supposed to be. You will of course have influence in karma and destiny, but maybe only 50%.

Anyway, this is a very subjective, philosophical and open topic. But this is my belief.